I went from being a miserable little person to being a less miserable person with a girlfriend.

Her name is jessica. She is a cashier at my job but since we are in entirely different sections we almost never see each other at work so no worries there.

She is an incredible woman. She can cook. She keeps herself and her possessions clean. She goes out of her way to do things for me just because she wants to. She is strong, independent and takes care of herself. She even buys me lunch if I'm broke. All she asks is that I love and appreciate her as much as I already do.

And I wonder why I deserve her. And what she did to "deserve" me. There's so much I want to do for her. There's no depth I would sink to to give her what she wants. But for the life of me she makes me feel like a worm just because she gives so much to me and gets nothing in return despite my efforts and intentions.

I just don't understand it. But she makes me feel special and I somehow manage to make her feel like the only woman in the world with something to be proud of.

In the meantime I'll do my best to keep her happy, even if it meant having to cut my own throat just to live up to her expectations.